I miss it. I miss it so much. I wouldn’t say every minute of every day. That’s a cliche and I get busy sometimes. But, in the moments when you are alone with your thoughts, your mind does drift back to that feeling.
Not the sex. The physical contact. The reach out in the middle of the night. The fingers dancing and entangling one another. Back rubs and soft smiles. Those moments in the middle of the night when you wake up, reach out, and pull her in close. She wakes up but isn’t mad. She just nuzzles in deeper and let’s you hold her close.
This process is lonely but doing those things with a stranger is pointless. There is no feeling. No reach out. I barely know you, so why would I turn to you for comfort? When you reach out for a friend, someone you really have a connection with, that’s when the void becomes full. I’ve had it. It’s worth the wait.
I’m laying in bed right now. It’s 5:00 am. I wake up in 30 min to go to yoga and start my day off of work. I have projects and laundry and I’m going to go for a hike. It will be a good day, but right now it’s lonely. Laying in this bed, reaching out, and knowing that there is no one there.
Dream girl, wherever you are and whatever you are doing, I am thinking about you. Now go back to sleep, Beautiful. You’ll be in my arms soon.