Allllcccccoooooohhhhoooollllllll!!!!! I miss you! I have 17 days left and my mother came to visit. I’m on day 4 with her and I need a fucking drink!!!!!! I’m gonna stab myself in the fucking eye son of a bitch fuck everything gagggghhhhhh

How hard is it to replace the toilet paper? I gave her 3 rolls and she puts them outside the door! Why? Whhyyyyyy?????? Gahhhhhhh.

I know my new facial hair looks different then you are used to

I know you don’t know how to work your phone

I know my hair got longer. That’s what it does: grows!!!!

No I’m not dating anyone. Yes I know all my sisters are married. You want grandkids, go create a Sims family and create one, but then again I’d need to set that up for you too.

Ahhhhhhh I’m gonna jump through a wall fuckkkkkkk

I love you Mom and you are the sweetest and greatest woman I have ever met but gosh damn woman get off my back. I am well aware there is a (one) bowl in the sink. It’s not hurting anyone and I’ll get to it when there is more than one. It’s called efficiency, ma!

This is worse than not drinking in Bali fuckkkkkkkkkk

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